About Me

Are you familiar with those moments when brutal honesty turns hurtful, when arguments become a battle of logic and practicality, and sarcastic remarks laced with superiority poison the atmosphere? Or perhaps you've found yourself rigidly clinging to your own perspective, refusing to budge, convinced that any lack of understanding on your partner's part is solely their burden to bear. Does any of this rings a bell?

Moreover, have you ever unintentionally betrayed your partner's trust in one of the many intricate ways that can occur? It's often men who find themselves entangled in these situations, especially when they attempt to fix their significant other's problems. However, it's important to acknowledge that these scenarios can happen to anyone. It is not because we are inherently flawed or lack compassion that we make these mistakes, but rather because we become ensnared in our own worlds, failing to recognise the needs and perspectives of our loved ones. As Dr. Gottman (2015) states, it is often mindlessness, not malice, that gradually or abruptly drives a wedge between partners, leading to disconnection.

If you find yourself able to relate to these situations, whether as the perpetrator or the recipient, please allow me to assure you that you are not alone. Many people grow up without fully grasping the guiding principles of love, which explains why the rate of separation among romantic couples continues to rise. It is only natural to feel despair in the face of sadness, disappointment, frustration, or loneliness within a relationship. The pain is profound, but there is a reason why you and your partner have reached this juncture, unable to find a way forward no matter your efforts. What you truly need is clarity—a profound understanding of what is really going on between you, why it occurs, and, most importantly, how to address it. This is where I come in.

Having specialised in the dynamics of couples, including the complexities of depression, infidelity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), persistent negative cycles, emotional detachment, ambivalence, and more, I have been fortunate to learn from the best in the field. However, my expertise in this area was not born solely from professional study. It emerged from personal experience—a journey through the very pitfalls I described earlier. I caused immense harm to my partner and irreparably damaged our relationship. Utterly lost and bewildered as to where I had gone wrong, I threw myself into learning the principles that dictate success and failure in any relationship. Though the process of discovery was time-consuming and implementing change required even more effort, it was undoubtedly worthwhile. I gained invaluable insights into the practical principles that underpin a relationship filled with romance, profound intimacy, trust, love, and empathy. Equally important, I discovered the destructive forces that can shatter these foundations.

Yet, I realised that personal growth alone was insufficient. The damage I had wrought was too profound for my partner and our relationship to heal without her active participation. Together, we had to break free from our respective cycles and mend the wounds we had inflicted. That's when I encountered Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—the only psychotherapeutic model that comprehends the intricate workings of romantic relationships from their very core. Developed out of the dire necessity for a reliable psychological framework that consistently delivered lasting results, EFT stands apart from other models that merely adapted their successes to untested scenarios, lacking true understanding of the multifaceted drama that unfolds within a couple.

Once I delved into the model and underwent formal training, everything became exquisitely clear. I gained a profound comprehension of the inner workings of myself, my partner, and our relationship. It was akin to Neo glimpsing the underlying code of the Matrix. This experience kindled within me a personal mission—to assist as many lost and desperate couples as possible, preventing them from making the same mistakes I had made. I wanted to shield them from the precipice of distrust, detachment, and pain. And to those who have already found themselves teetering on the edge, I understand that you require even greater support. Let me assure you that you are neither alone nor crazy in your emotions. Your desires are valid, and your reactions are wholly understandable. Allow me to provide the genuine help you need to alleviate your pain.

Hence, I present to you BanSia Solutions—a name chosen to pay homage to the invaluable lessons my partner imparted to me. They inspired my personal growth and pushed me to surpass my former self. At every step, we chose our relationship over individualism. This name serves as a constant reminder that enduring love can last a lifetime and that it possesses the power to heal any wounds inflicted by our partners. Moreover, it reflects my unwavering commitment to assist as many individuals as possible, helping them escape the clutches of negative cycles, rebuilding trust, closeness, love, and intimacy.

While I am a steadfast believer in hope, advocating for every couple out there, I acknowledge that some may no longer possess the strength to persevere. The burdens you carry may have become unbearable, and that is okay too. Sometimes, we simply reach the end of our capacity. So, regardless of what you are experiencing at this moment, allow me to help you navigate the immense weight you bear. You deserve the support that will truly address your needs, for we all require assistance at times. Guiding you through this process would be an honor.

Now, on a lighter note, allow me to share a few fun facts about myself: chess is my favourite sport, and I greatly admire Magnus Carlsen, a brilliant player. Additionally, I find solace in watching the magnificent Lord of the Rings trilogy and reading thought-provoking books like Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari or GEB: an eternal golden braid by Douglas Hofstadter. I have also mastered the art of crafting a Kawasaki rose, an exquisite paper origami, and I possess a deep passion for business analysis and French cuisine.